confessions-of-an-entrepreneur

When it's time to let friendships go

Nicole Cosentino

Since I’ve lived in so many different cities it’s hard to keep up with old and new friends.  I mean life gets in the way for everyone as it is now add distance.  I pride myself in always keeping in touch with my friends…a phone call, a text or some social media love.  A little goes a long way!  I know that I can easily get caught up in my own life and I’ve been know to miss a call or text.  But I make it a point to always respond and if it’s a late response, I apologize for that. I think people don’t do that enough.

Lately I’ve been feeling down because I have some friends where I find myself always calling them to hang out.  When we are together we have a great time but if I don’t reach out and make that happen we wouldn’t even hang out.  They always say that they are busy and I get that.  But so am I and I am a believer that friendships are a two-way street.  I decided to let that friendship go in the sense that I won’t be chasing people down to hang out with me.  I got the courage to move from friendships like that after listening to a podcast from Joel Osteen.  Sometimes you have to let people go and make room for new friendships.

Here are a few signs that a friendship is over:

1)You Disagree With Your Friend’s Lifestyle Choices: your current lifestyle is not on the same page anymore.  There is nothing wrong with this.  People change all the time.  It’s important to have friends who respect the changes in your life.

2) You no longer hangout: You notice that you don’t hang out anymore and it could be because you are busy but if no one makes the effort.  Then maybe it’s not worth pursuing.

3) You are the only one putting in the effort: If you are the only one who is constantly reaching out and making plans, then your friendship is as good as dead. Good friends will make an effort to reach out or make plans every now and then.

4)  You no longer have anything in common: As mentioned, people grow and sometimes you don’t have common interests. Some move to other places, others have a major career, others get married and have kids.  It’s ok to grow from old friendships because we all grow.  You will find friends that share the same interests you have. 

5) Communication is one side:  If all your friend wants to talk about is him or herself—it can get exhausting.  It should always be a trade off where both sides are heard.

6) Plans are put off: Sure we all get busy and plans cancel.  But if no one makes the effort to reschedule then it almost makes it seem like the friendship is not worth it.

Of course, you should always evaluate your friendship and communicate your feelings with each other.  A major part of friendships ending are lack of communication. If you feel like you have tried it all and nothing changes…it’s ok to let that friendship go.  I did that and as soon as I accepted that, I had met someone that could potentially be a friend.  Have you ever felt bad about having to let go of a friendship?  Post a comment below.

Stay smart and stylish,

Nicole


Older Post


Leave a Comment